I wonder if its just me, or does everyone reach a point in there lives where they reach the highest point of the bell-shaped curve of life, if you will, and after that, it is just a downhill journey and every moment then on there is a hollow voice inside of us, telling us that that's it, life's given all that it could, you've reached the maximum you could and even though that maximum wasn't enough, that was it and it is going to be blah from here on. Because that's what it feels like. Right now. Always. And what's more... aren't I a little late to be existentialist? I mean, wasn't that period a while back? Okay no wait, that's not even the point. The point is that there is no point. (I'm reading James Joyce, so!) And what's worse is that the only response I'll even get on this post is going to be some lame guy (sorry to sound so judgmental, but what the hey) who is under the impression that he's sounding very intellectual and hiding his identity too well, asking me personal questions about my life and worse...displaying (often not true) stuff about my personal life. Dude, seriously, that's my job! You write your own blog! So anyways, back to the nothingness of life. Nothing, even the main-stream lala one is supposed to follow doesn't make sense. Education, career, marriage, knowledge, family. Yes, I said family. But no really, education makes no sense anymore. More often than not, they're random stuff hammered into one's brains so that they can get a job so that they can get a desirable husband/wife. And then not even work that marriage out. Intelligence, since when has that one been honestly valued? Or, no, been useful? I would really love to think that there is hope, but I, like Conrad's character in Heart of Darkness, am fixated in the midst of all the non-sensical muck to see any light.
I know its an odd combination! I mean, really, you think that detail went past me? But the fact is that it is an awfully cold 7 pm in New Delhi & one of the few things a lazy person such as myself can do is sit inside a blanket, along with your dog by your side, drink hot chai, eat something even hotter and watch TV. And the only thing to watch on TV happened to be CID. And no, as I've told many people today already, I'm not in the mood to watch I, Robot again. Also, when I'm that mood, I don't mind CID so much...it actually makes me laugh & takes my mind off things.
Even so, my mind is racing with essential questions. Like why these people never seem to get a promotion? After all, they have been solving every case successfully for what, 15 years? Anyways, enough of that. If I open that door, there will be flood.
Ah..now the good part: tea. Two things about this.. (a) I'm actually a coffee person & (b) after all that I can cook, I can't make a cup of tea. True story. And I'm unwell, sort of and I didn't want to drag me to the kitchen and prepare a brown muck that will reflect my mood. So I drink whatever it is that I brought to me. I also don't hate tea...I do enjoy adrak chai. And the fact that its hot, is bliss!
I didn't actually want to eat Maggi Noodles, but there really wasn't anything else to eat at home (apart from pancakes, which I'm bored of). Also, having had put on about 10 kgs, i should anyways food like noodles forever. But I didn't. In my defence, what I was really craving was Big Chill's Blueberry Cheesecake.
I should go now! Just saw a cooking show on TLC! :)
I was flipping through the pages of Gone With The Wind and I found a passage that stood out for me. It did so because even though this book tells the story of the Old South, the gender roles and obligations onto women are much the same today as they were back then. Even in my country.
Here goes:
Ellen's life was not easy, nor was it happy, but she did not expect life to be easy, and, if it was not happy, that was woman's lot. It was a man's world, and she accepted it as such. The man owned the property, and the woman managed it. The man took the credit for the management, and the woman praised his cleverness. The man roared like a bull when a splinter was in his finger, and the woman muffled the moans of childbirth, lest she disturb him. Men were rough of speech and often drunk. Women ignored the lapses of speech and put the drunkards to bed without bitter words. Men were rude and outspoken; women were always kind, gracious and forgiving.
