11:15 pm

I must be growing up because I suddenly have started empathizing my parents—well, not exactly empathizing—but have begun understanding some of what they say and worry about. I suppose most people grow through it… I was a moderately rebellious teenager (as per modern urban Indian standards) and in some ways, I still remain so. I have seen my parents, crib, fight, and wail, shout at me with “advices”, “demands”, “emotional blackmailing” and such. And I had gone right ahead and done what I had wanted to anyways, despite the occasional momentary hitch (they are my parents after all). Sometimes what I’ve wanted has been a success but most of the time a colossal failure.
Now I know how parents feel…how anyone at all feels when you see someone you love make a stupid decision (most often based on impulse, and emotional crap), act it through despite the glaring warning signals and despite how much it hurts you, pray that it works! The feeling of helplessness of seeing someone walk head on to the path of disappointment and hurt is beyond words. You can just sit back and cringe at the thought of seeing them suffer, for their suffering has already been marked inevitable by them. And you must let them go.

And wait.

For when they are going through the hurt, first will come denial. That’s real sad because they will push and pull through the hurt anyways. And your own helpless continues and so does your own hurt. You can just hope that when they are dealing with the mess, and are over the mess, you’re there with them. And that they haven’t pushed you away by that time.

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